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If you see me laughing with my earphones on, 99% of the time, it is because of Karen and Georgia's random talks and not the murder case they are or will be discussing. (I'm currently hooked on the podcast, My Favorite Murder, listen to it, it's so gooooood.) Episode 11 is disturbing but it was still enjoyable with the way the two balanced the whole show with a bit of comedic relief at the end.

My obsession with the topic of murder and serial killers is not because I think what they do or did is cool. No way. I absolutely abhor murder but knowing the whys surrounding murder cases really gets me. Life is ugly, as Georgia said. People are uglier.

(Please note that this is merely a distraction with all the bad news surrounding our government. Passing the death penalty bill on the final reading when I haven't even heard about the 2nd reading is just absurd. Shortly after omitting treason, plunder and rape from the list of crimes punishable by death, they're quick-firing the passage of this bill to congress and now they did it. The thing about this is, the congressmen some people were rooting for voted yes. "Trust no politician," is what my peers said. Well, we can't help but be hopeful. People are so ugly, it reflects on their faces. It's not a really nice distraction from my personal torment, but it works.)
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This is the bittersweet tale of my first week in my first job.

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This is nerve-wracking.

It's my first job's orientation tomorrow and I'm terrified and excited at the same time. I didn't expect to be in the education field after finishing journalism (since almost everyone in the family are in the teaching field) but yes, here I am. Although I will not be teaching, but rather working more on modules and editing (which I did a lot in college), I still think it's weird that I ended up working for a university.

And then the day after tomorrow, I will be attending the Japan Education Fair and Convention here in Manila, which, I bet, will be awesome. I'm after the talk and the discussion of the Japanese culture but I guess this will be some sort of reunion for my batch mates in the JENESYS 2.0 Mass Media Programme. And speaking of Jenesys, it has almost been a year since our trip to Japan! I terribly miss that place.



I remember seeing Arashi in JAL's plane magazines and pre-flight advertisements, in different billboards at Narita airport, at Haneda airport and even in New Shin-Chitose. I was thoroughly satisfied then.

And then some Japanese students from a university in Hokkaido went to my former high school for a benchmarking/appreciation tour. I hope they had a nice time here, just like we did in their prefecture (and in Sapporo City University!).

I guess that's everything. I need to work on my review of the For the Feels bundle of the #JustWritePH blog tour. I'm due to post my thoughts on the bundle by Saturday.

Ciao ciao.
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I'm just going to delve into this topic once because I was hurt and terribly affected by a video, cleverly titled "Dear Fat People."

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[Error: unknown template qotd]I have bought the entire trilogy of The Infernal Devices by Cassandra Clare soon after each came out. I have been meaning to read it all as soon as I get my free time but two or three years have passed and I still haven't read past Clockwork Angel which is quite bad, to be honest.

The Mortal Instruments series is probably one of the first series which I struggled to buy with my own money as soon as the books were released. The first two books were late Christmas gifts from my aunt last 2009 and since then, I have been collecting each book by Cassandra Clare. It became an addiction.

Of course, it's only right that I read the anticipated sort-of prequel series to TMI which is The Infernal Devices so I bought them all, as well. Like I said, it's an addiction.

But it came to the release of the last book in the TMI series and I'm still stuck in the middle of Clockwork Angel. I have seen spoilers, tons of them, all over the fandom, but I forced myself to forget those.

I even finished The Bane Chronicles before this trilogy. WHAT.

Yes, the entire series has been in my to-read list for a very long time and I hope I find the time and the motivation to read it all and immerse myself in the world of Tessa, Will and Jem. Because I miss reading about them. :)
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This is a weird first post in this website. Still learning the ropes for this one.

Yo! Mariane here. My best friend calls me Mars, my family call me by my second name, my college blockmates decided to call me Mayan, for some unknown reason. I collect books. I collect notebooks. I search the internet for some of the most bizarre happenings around the world. I'm obsessed with creepypastas and disturbing tales. I love cake, french fries and hamburgers. I haven't had any drinks from Starbucks but I love instant coffees because I'm too lazy to make my own cuppa. I often have bad dreams. I'm a Virgo. I'm an INFP. Currently unemployed but on my way to getting a job. A Journalism graduate. I hate parties and talking in front of a crowd. I shop for clothes in the men's section. I hate skirts but I like dresses. I spend too much time on Youtube. I'm interested in stories about serial killers. I want to be an astronaut, or maybe volunteer to travel to another planet or to the moon. Basically an introvert.

I like dorks. I guess I'm a subdued and mostly calm person so I seek for something fun and weird in people.

But anyway, here are some helpful links!

My account and writing community at Livejournal - Spacewhistler and Ghosts in Space

My personal blog, Fictionalien and a literary blog, Written on Scraps of Paper

My Fanfiction account under the name, HexShadow because it's still relevant, at least to me and a AO3 counterpart under the pseudonym, MayanMcCool

And my Tumblr account, a multifandom trash bin under the name The Girl in the Sunny Place

I guess that's all, thank youuuu!

A hello from me (using Taylor Lautner
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This is an introduction to this newly built journal.

Yo! Mariane here. My best friend calls me Mars, my family call me by my second name, my college blockmates decided to call me Mayan, for some unknown reason. I collect books. I collect notebooks. I search the internet for some of the most bizarre happenings around the world. I'm obsessed with creepypastas and disturbing tales. I love cake, french fries and hamburgers. I haven't had any drinks from Starbucks but I love instant coffees because I'm too lazy to make my own cuppa. I often have bad dreams. I'm a Virgo. I'm an INFP. Currently unemployed but on my way to getting a job. A Journalism graduate. I hate parties and talking in front of a crowd. I shop for clothes in the men's section. I hate skirts but I like dresses. I spend too much time on Youtube. I'm interested in stories about serial killers. I want to be an astronaut, or maybe volunteer to travel to another planet or to the moon. Basically an introvert.

I like dorks. I guess I'm a subdued and mostly calm person so I seek for something fun and weird in people. Here are some of my favorite people.
Ed Sheeran. I have been a fan of the ginger with an amazing voice ever since I heard Lego House in 2012. He has been a crucial part of my life since. His songs, for me, will forever be legendary.

 
Arashi. If we talk about dorks, these five will always come to mind. They never fail to cheer me up on a bad day. I don
 
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So yeah. It has been four months since I graduated from college and this is my first job interview.

Frankly, I'm freaking terrified. Because I don't know if I'm good enough for the position although I may have seemed enthusiastic in my cover letter.

I am just...if this isn't for me, then I'll accept it. But I really really want a job. Not necessarily for me, but for my mother.

I don't know. I may just have to throw up before the interview on Monday.

CARRIE MIRRORS MY SENTIMENTS BELOW. *huff and sigh*

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[Error: unknown template qotd]My 16th birthday last 2011.

It was three days before my father died so I guess it's my favorite birthday so far because it's my last birthday with my father.

He was suffering from stroke and he couldn't speak after that. But we celebrated my birthday with cake and he was happy. I fed him cake, that's what I vividly remember. I was just so happy because it was a week after he was allowed to go home from the hospital. In time for my birthday.

It was a simple celebration, not much fuss. I don't like parties anyway, unless there's good food.

But I wanted to relive that simple and quiet birthday celebration over and over again for Tatay. I'm sure he will celebrate our birthdays in heaven. Maybe he'll have some cake for himself, too. :)
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[Error: unknown template qotd]My top three musical artists, and this may be bit of an absurd combination, would be Arashi, Ed Sheeran and Mcfly.

First and foremost, Arashi is a group that generally gives off a feel-good vibe. In a group of five completely different individuals, no one hogs the spotlight, no one stands out over the others. They have an extraordinary balance among members and that's just one of the many reasons why I love them as a group. I feel like their best work is "Happiness" just because it's a song that truly uplifts one's spirits and if I'm feeling sad, I'll have this one blasting through the speakers, definitely. It's an amazing song. They're not exactly great singers and dancers but their charm lies in their chemistry.

I've been a fan of Ed Sheeran way before he became a big name in the music industry. I used to look for his albums in local music stores and I remember when no one knew his name. I loved him through The A Team and the Lego House and seeing him grow from that independent singer to a huge star known around the world is something I take pride in. I feel like his best work is The A Team. It's probably one of the least known songs of Ed but when I first internalized the song's lyrics, I sobbed so hard. It's too realistic and the words are so beautifully strung together in something poetic. I love it so much. His voice is something I will never get tired of.

Lastly, but definitely not the least, is Mcfly. I discovered them through Lindsay Lohan's "Just My Luck." I thought they were such a cute British band then. But they've grown into truly fine gentlemen. I love Mcfly because their songs tell stories and they make me dance. It's full of instruments, a cute tune, and the lyrics are cool. Tom and Danny write the songs for the band, too, and Tom is superbly talented. I think "Room on the Third Floor" is their best work. It's a mellow song about a room they've stayed in when they became a band. I will never get tired of listening to it.

I guess that's all. I'm too passionate about these people and I hope they last in the industry longer. :)

Insomnia

Aug. 3rd, 2015 01:56 am
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It's not that I'm too distracted by the web that I can't bring myself to sleep.

It's because I'm scared of these strange, recurring bad dreams. It's getting scarier everyday.

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Saw this interesting list and I decided to answer it on my own. Like someone would ask me. :D

1:A song you like with a color in the title - Yellow Pages by Ed Sheeran (actually one of the first Sheeran songs I discovered back in 2012)
2:A song you like with a number in the title - Five Colours in Her Hair by Mcfly (a great pick-me-up song and it's the classic tune of Mcfly. I love it.)
3:A song that reminds you of summertime - Best Song Ever by One Direction (I don't know. I guess I have a lot of memories of playing it on my phone a lot during summer?)
4:A song that reminds you of someone you would rather forget about - none, I think. Can't associate anything to that person.
5:A song that needs to be played LOUD - Happiness by Arashi (to lift people's spirits up!!!) or Centuries by Fall Out Boy (THAT SONG IS LEGEN-waitforit-DARY!)
6:A song that makes you want to dance - Sing by Ed Sheeran.
7:A song to drive to - Life is a Highway by Rascal Flatts. (One word: CARS)
8:A song about drugs or alcohol - Drunk by Ed Sheeran
9:A song that makes you happy - Hey Yeah by Sho Sakurai
10:A song that makes you sad - Hold You by Nina Nesbitt featuring Kodaline (this sounds better as a duet and my heart hurts every time I hear this)
11:A song that you never get tired of - A.RA.SHI by Arashi (I don't even need to explain.)
12:A song from your preteen years - Bitiw by Spongecola (I listened to a lot of OPM in my preteen years of no internet access)
13:One of your favorite 80’s songs - Thriller by Michael Jackson (Michael Jackson is a family favorite)
14:A song that you would love played at your wedding - Thinking Out Loud by Ed Sheeran (I don't care if it's too overrated these days. If Ed, and only Ed, sings this at my wedding, whether or not he's the groom, I will cry like a baby)
15:A song that is a cover by another artist - Wayfaring Stranger by Ed Sheeran (I JUST LOVE THIS ON LOOP PEDAL GAHD)
16:One of your favorite classical songs - Symphony No. 7 by Beethoven (from Nodame Cantabile! GYAAAA~)
17:A song that would sing a duet with on karaoke - Everything Has Changed by Taylor Swift featuring Ed Sheeran (Huhu, please)
18:A song from the year that you were born - Always by Bon Jovi (this song is everything, I swear. Thank you, older cousin for letting me listen to this on your old mp3 player)
19:A song that makes you think about life - 100 Years by Five for Fighting (just listen to it and experience existential crisis)
20:A song that has many meanings to you - Blackbird by The Beatles
21:A favorite song with a person’s name in the title - Little Joanna by Mcfly
22:A song that moves you forward - Kitto Daijoubu by Arashi or I'll Be Ok by Mcfly (both tell the same message)
23:A song that you think everybody should listen to - Gang of Rhythm by Walk Off the Earth (it's such a fun, instrument-filled song. I can only remember listening to it with a smile on my face.)
24:A song by a band you wish were still together - It's Gonna Be Me by Nsync
25:A song by an artist no longer living - Greatest Love of All by Whitney Houston
26:A song that makes you want to fall in love - Tenerife Sea by Ed Sheeran (I wish that song was dedicated to me, dang it)
27:A song that breaks your heart - You Break Me by Ed Sheeran and Yozora e no Tegami by Aiba Masaki
28:A song by an artist with a voice that you love - Lego House by Ed Sheeran, Selfies by Nina Nesbitt and Kono Mama Motto by Sho Sakurai (sorry, can't choose)
29:A song that you remember from your childhood - My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion (my earliest memory is actually watching Leonardo DiCaprio risking his life for a woman with this song playing in the background and young me swaying along to it.)
30:A song that reminds you of yourself - Sha-La-La by Venga Boys (my mother used to tease me whenever this song plays because when I was a kid, I'd relentlessly dance to it. Not even aspired to be a dancer, tbh)

THIS IS PROCRASTINATION AT ITS FINEST. And oh yeah, my high school friends invited me out for snacks tomorrow and I can't bring myself to go and meet them after so long because ANXIETY IS ACTING UP AGAIN. I don't even know what to do.

Cancelling at the last minute. Writing tons tomorrow, instead. I still have some Junba and Yama fics on hold. YAY MEEEE! (•‾⌣‾•)و ̑̑♡
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I'm back to writing after a few days in bed due to colds, coughs and fever. Not that I'm up and energetic again because my throat still has a long way to go. Deciding to go night swimming after a night of partying (both for my sister's 18th) was such a bad idea, in retrospect, especially when cold nights are starting over here. But I had fun, anyway.

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The next year's presidential elections will be my first time voting and I have faith in my vote making a change for the country.

But with the recent events, I think people would settle for the famous politicians, or worse, settle for the lesser evil and I feel like this would be one of the worst elections EVER. I haven't been around for long but yeah, you get the gist.

An aspiring president is making a name for himself, desperate to acquire the public's sympathy and hopefully, votes in the upcoming election. This pathetic idiot and the members of his family in politics apparently feel like they have done so much for the country already. He even dissed the administration he was in for the better part of six years. During his speech, he asked, "Where was the administration?" You're a part of that administration, idiot. The question should be, WHERE WERE YOU?. Not to mention, he was the freaking vice president. As if that wasn't a high enough position to initiate changes in the country he wished to serve. If he was ever elected president, I WOULD DEFINITELY LEAVE THIS COUNTRY ASAP.

Then there was this inexperienced senator who has been in position for only a few years who was pressured to run for president because of her popularity among the masses. It's sick. She has tons of potential, if you ask me, but to spoil that reputation with a run for presidential elections, I would think it was a bit presumptuous of her. I just hope she never gives in to the current administration's foolish plans to gather support from the voters.

Then there were experienced politicians with tons of potential of making changes with this tortured country, who couldn't appeal to most of the masses because most people don't really have access to internet and the news. I would want to vote for them, but I guess they're losing hope already with the number of aspirants. I know some who have been running for the same position for years. This year of elections may be just another year for them.

I feel terrified for this country. I just hope the people who will vote keeps in mind that a small amount of bribe for your vote will not last for six years, the same length of his reign over the country. It's deceiving and I hate that people still get deceived for a small money. If I were you, I would ask for a larger amount before they could buy my vote. To legal voters, use your mind and not your temporary thirst for money. If this country gets a decent leader, I'm sure you'll receive more benefits. Like better appropriations for the people's taxes. We badly need that.
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It seems like lately, I have been inspired enough to write Yama (Ohno Satoshi/Sakurai Sho) pair fanfiction just because I have been reading a lot of those. Gah, I just love them and I can imagine them in a quiet and subtle relationship that is both reassuring and dangerous. It's too much for my heart.

Anyway, I have planned a few het fics that I wanted to write. The pairings may vary, but most is Dramione (Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger), Shesbitt (Ed Sheeran and Nina Nesbitt), and others.

I just love to write before I end up in a slump again.

Head on over to [livejournal.com profile] ghostsinspace to read some stuff I have written.
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A poem. Something to get my mind off of things.

I have seen the afterlife. )
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My five-year-old brother came home today crying. My grandmother asked what happened at school. He told her it was because he didn't get any "stars."

A bit of a back story: ever since my brother reached the age that would allow him to enter preschool, my grandparents grew obsessed with having him come home with "stars" on his hands and stories to tell about school or what they did for that day. It was nice because they actually listen to his excited tattles about school and his classmates.

I'm not writing this to mock that. I believe that accomplishments deserve to be acknowledged. I am immensely proud and happy because my brother puts enough effort in things which people think deserve "stars". But I guess I don't like him to think that "stars" are everything.

My father was an achiever. He was constantly on the honor roll, he participated and won in contests, and I bear testament to my father's intellectual abilities. His mother used to tell amazing stories from his childhood, emphasizing the fact that he was quite the little genius. I was impressed. Among the family, my siblings and I luckily inherited this gene.

We're not geniuses but we were above average students. I was on the honor roll, too, but not every time. But I was a very shy kid then so I guess my problem over my personality overshadowed the need to crave for "stars". With accomplishments like awards and honors reaching the elders' ears, they were more than proud. They were ecstatic.

But the way my brother was stressing over the fact that he did not get any "stars" today made me realize how great my grandparents' expectations of him are. Whenever he goes home, his welcoming question would be, "how many stars did you get today?". If he gets stars, my grandmother would ask, "aw, but why didn't you get more?"

It's frustrating. Well, at least for me.

Speaking of disappointments and expectations, I failed to call our grandfather for his birthday today. I did greet him, though, but he often takes these special occasions seriously. I bet he feels like we forgot his birthday.

But yes, I'm struggling with anxiety and I don't think my mother knows this. She doesn't know how much I panic whenever I have to talk to someone over the phone. I don't like answering calls even if it's important. I was once scolded by our editor during internship because I couldn't pick up the phone for an urgent call. He didn't know that I couldn't help it. My palms sweat and my heart starts thudding at the sound of the phone ringing.

So much for future careers, needing the use of phones.

Yeah, I feel really bad today. I just need to sort things out or I'll go crazy.
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[Error: unknown template qotd]I was in sixth grade when my Secret Santa/friend/classmate decided to give me a copy of this new comic book called Kikomachine Komix, along with some food (because he knows I love a good read to match good food, what an amazing friend). It was written in Filipino and almost all of the jokes are centered on college life. When I reread this first book when I was in college, I finally got most of the jokes. It was that memorable for me.

Kikomachine, unlike most comic strips, have characters with no names, yet they have these striking personalities which made them stand out. The comic thrives on simplicity and sarcastic humor. It WAS amazing.

I just felt like I missed out on a lot of jokes before because when I reread the comic book, I didn't remember laughing as much as I did when I picked it up again.

Not to mention, the artist, Manix Abrera, also made comic strips of journalists' daily life. The punch lines were hard-hitting and so realistic!

But despite my admiration for Kikomachine (which I wish would stay around for much longer), I kind of miss my cousin's favorite comics, Funny Komiks, all in Filipino. I don't know. It used to be his source of inspiration for his art and I used to read it a lot before. Some of the strips were a lot like anime, but the originals were classics.

*Sigh* I suddenly miss Niknok, Litlit Bulilit and Tomas at Kulas.
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I’ve never been fond of heights so it’s likely that I’ve never been on a Ferris wheel ride before. There’s just something about trusting few pieces of rusty metal bars formed in a shape of a wheel with little cars to ride on, painted with bright colors to attract the curious eyes of passers-by that didn’t sit well with me. However, I was helplessly dragged into one on one of the carnival rides in town. I obliged, albeit unenthused.

As the kind men operating the ride locked in the safety bars on the side, I sent a prayer above in case of emergency. Something clenched inside my stomach when the wheel started to move. My friend nudged me to open my eyes and to peek around. I shook my head. Before he could react more, the wheel moved again until we were on top as they boarded new passengers.
My feet were dangling in the air. The slight breeze from this altitude hit my face refreshingly. If I hadn’t been so high up in this silly carnival ride, I would’ve greedily sucked in the air I so desperately needed.

The wheel started moving…and it was moving fast. I could barely hear the others because all I could hear was the frantic beating of my heart. All I could feel was the rust sticking to my palm as I held on to the safety bars that didn’t seem so safe anymore. My stomach clenched every time we reach the top and then plummet to the bottom. We’re whizzing into the air and the others were giggling and shouting while I held on for dear life, holding in my nausea.
“Open your eyes,” my friend shouted at me. “Shout and don’t keep it in. You’ll feel better, I promise.”

I did not shake my head this time. I followed his advice. As soon as our car moved up, I slowly tried to open my eyes and when we reached the very top, I bravely looked around. As soon as our car plunged down to the ground, I screamed until my throat and lungs gave.
In no time at all, it was time to go down. My eyes were wet with tears, my stomach in knots and my throat scratchy from too much shouting. We were at the very top, then, while others climbed off their cars below, when I decided to open my eyes wide. I was looking down at the town full of people rushing off to wherever they plan to go to. They look so little from this angle. The wind was blowing and I took it all in. My stomach eased and soon unclenched and that nauseating feeling passed so quickly. Seeing things in a new perspective was enlightening.

Maybe that’s why people can’t achieve what they have always dreamed of. They’re too blinded by fear. If only people have the courage to open their eyes, like I did while I was up there, conquering their fears, maybe then they’ll see things in a new perspective and slowly achieve it. Maybe people were just those tiny creatures circling you. Once you’ve conquered your fears and let yourself believe, you’d be on top. But remember to always stay grounded or you’ll go plummeting down to the hard and cold concrete.


Written for my cousin. September 20, 2014.
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So on our last year in college, we decided to take on the challenge of writing a hundred, 100-word stories of any genre. Sadly, we didn't get to finish because of thesis, internship and tons of other things to write. (Sometimes, I feel like I shouldn't have chosen a course which requires more writing than I actually do on a daily basis. But yeah, Journalism has been really fun so no regrets)

I Googled one of my stories and a Wattpad link was on the top. I made a book under the pseudonym, Fuzzwald, containing the stories of various authors, though most are mine. My nickname for this writing project was Calypso. I have four other friends who contributed under the names, Indigo, Wormtail, Grinmoire Heart and Four-eyed Panda. This book was wittingly called, Project One Hundred.

I was so psyched for the first few days that I wrote about ten. I slacked off after that because I had pending tasks for thesis. Not to mention, two of the contributing writers are my thesis-mates.

So, for this year, we're going to take on this challenge again. Restarting Project One Hundred for a VERSION 2! Featuring new pseudonyms but same writers. The new books may include their short bios, I don't know. BUT YAY! We're doing it again!

Here's to battling boredom, one hundred words a day!

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